Mary Kaye Holt

Hello, NashWest Besties. I’ll always be a Hippie Cowgirl but am finding a need to pivot my posts to include my new life in Nashville which means you'll hear the ding of my Southern Belle every once in a while. Are ya’ll gonna be OK with that? I hope so, because a whole new world has opened up to me as an artist since making the move from Escalante, Utah to Nashville, Tennessee and I'm feeling my way forward. Here are some things that I want to share with you.

As many of you know, my husband, Gary Holt, is an award-winning radio host and he's roped me into co-hosting a show with him called, "Live From Nashville." I love it! We interview singer/songwriters and share interesting stories. Our show airs every Saturday at noon CST on equestrianlegacy.net

To my Utah friends and family...I have two big performances scheduled in Utah this Summer on May 27th in Escalante for Wild Potato Festival and July 15th in Salt Lake City for the Excellence Concert Series.

New items are added daily to my Ebay store, Nash West Threads. I have over 350 hand-picked pieces and more are added on the daily. Oh, how I love quality clothes and good deals! Feel free to shop my store anytime! 

Two of my best friends in Nashville are award-winning western singer/songwriters, Micki Fuhrman and Tecia McKenna. We are teaming up for some special performances as a girl super-group called Gone with the West. 

Gary and I are hosting our first NashWest Adventure on October 6,7 and 8th at Palo Duro Canyon in Texas for a horseback adventure and chuck wagon dinner and concert with me and Tecia McKenna. Space is limited to 18 people and deposits are due soon. This event is open to men, women and couples. No need to trailer your horse in. Los Cedros Ranch will be outfitting us. 

On a personal note, Gary and I love when friends reach out to us when they come to Nashville. We've been able to go out for coffee or host many of you at Birdsong where Sam and Milo are always ready for visitors. 

Peace, Love, Spurs

Rock On, Hippie Cowgirls!

…and Nash West Besties

Sending love to my sponsors…

Anita Crane Photography

Espana Silk Grooming Products

All Out Western Ranch Wear

Montana Rio Buckaroo Hats

Hello, NashWest Besties. Lets get acquainted. Did you know I had three of my ten children at home? Did you know that I had ten children? Did you know that when you tell people in Utah that you have ten children they’re like, “Yeah, my mom had fifteen.” But when you tell people in Nashville that you had ten children they’re like, “Bless your heart, now let’s talk about the weather.”

Did you know I am a singer/songwriter and that almost every song I’ve written has been been written in bed? Did you know that of the four bedrooms of Birdsong, I’ve taken over three of them with my Nash West Threads EBay Store and that poor Gary has to play hide and seek to find out which one I’m in? This is a vintage Christian Dior scarf I just listed.

Did you know that no matter how busy I’ve been raising ten children I’ve always taken a night to do a mani pedi and that I am currently wearing blue glitter polish?  Did you know I can sew almost anything and once made a dress for an awards show out of curtains just like Scarlett? Did you know I love hosting parties and can cook food for a small army but refuse to follow recipes?

Did you know Gary talked me into co-hosting a radio show called Live From Nashville and that I’m not very good at it but am really loving the artists we interview? Did you know both Gary and I are good at singing and terrible at fixing things and that I seem nice but laugh when we fail at fixing things?

Did you know that I’m falling in love with Nashville? The people are so polite and there is always something to go see or do and although both Gary and I miss horses but I’m really enjoying not having hay down my shirt and in my pockets and hair.

And finally, did you know I talk too much after I have caffeine?

❤️MK

Hello, Hippie Cowgirls. What do you want the very most in your life? Imagine a menu is handed to you and you can order anything you want. You have to look at each option and make a choice because even though you can order anything, your stomach won’t have the capacity to hold everything. You are hungry. You need something to satiate you, not just fill a space. What will you ask for?

Moving to the green of Nashville from the red rocks of Escalante, Utah was crazy. Getting married at 52 years old to Gary Holt so shortly after the collapse of my first marriage was sheer recklessness. I would never have guessed my life would take such twists and turns. There are moments that I am so happy and so disoriented from the changes that I wonder if I’ve died and Tennessee is heaven.

I want to share a moment with you. I know you’ve had a moment like this too. It’s when you’ve done all you can do and you’re exhausted. You’ve cried the last tear, you’ve spent the last dime, you wash your hands of it all and come to God with a whole new prayer. It goes like this, “OK, God. It’s me again. I know there’s lots of hurt in this world and I’m sorry to bring you my petty mess, but I’m done. No, seriously, I’m done. You know the Grace people always talk about? I need some.”

The waving of the white flag is when the menu is laid in front of you and God smiles and says, “What do you want the very most in your life?” This is a hard moment because we’ve been taught what we should want our whole lives but God wants to know what you really want. This too is hard because it takes a balance of deep thought and quick instinct to answer honestly. There is also the distinct risk that what we ask for is temporarily not on the menu. 

When I had this moment to choose from the menu of life, my hungry exhausted soul asked God to please bring me deep romantic love. The words tumbled out of me and I knew they were honest. I wanted to love and be loved. I created space for this love. I kept his drawers empty and his side of the bed ready for him. I opened my heart to the future and put the past in the past. 

Gary Holt called one day to ask me to be on a new radio show he was creating called The Living Room Sessions. I professionally agreed and then when he asked how the family was doing, I blubbered that I was going through a divorce. He was quiet and calmly said, “Well, 50% of all marriages end in divorce.” That didn’t make me  feel better and I felt even worse when he quickly ended the call. Soon we began talking on the phone more to set up the show. I liked his Southern drawl and deep voice and decided that during the pandemic lock-down it would be nice to visit with him more, so while I was recording my new album, Frontier, I called him and blurted out, “Do you have a girlfriend?” Classy, I know.

Falling in love with Gary Holt has been the sweetest gift. I laugh because I know it could’ve been a disaster, but not a day goes by that I regret choosing love. Deeply satisfying love and companionship are what my soul was craving. What is your soul aching for? There is an abundance of good things waiting to be cooked up for you as long as you are willing to honestly put in your request and create the space for it to be placed in front of you. 

It’s OK to not want what you thought you should want. It’s OK to not want what you used to want. You can change your mind. You can even make a monumental mistake and send it back to the kitchen. Do you want to know why there is such abundance at this table? Abundance is a special dish made to order. You just need to be hungry enough to ask for it. 

Hello, Hippie Cowgirls. Are you experiencing heartache in your life right now? 

In the Winter of 2020, I had been served divorce papers on Valentines Day, I was about to host my first Girl Meets West Womens Retreat, there was a new virus called Covid and it was all so much that I couldn’t seem to get my heart to stop hurting.

I took care of a herd of seven horses, two of which were my mustangs, Lady and Bandit. The work truck heater was broken but if I got to the barn early enough the mud would be frozen enough to crunch over the top like the cracking of crème brûlée.

Horses are smart and curious which are traits that can get them into some very creative trouble. On this day, I didn’t have time for shenanigans. My eyes were almost swollen almost shut from crying and I had to get up the mountain to my other job.

Immediately I noticed that one of the 4x4 posts supporting the corrugated steel overhang had been backed into and busted by the backside of one of my big friends. 

That’s when I had my own come apart. Stomping, swearing, and shouting I decided that the only thing for the time I had was to do what all desperate horse women have had to do before me. I was going to half ass fix it.

Using a turned over water trough, some t posts and a t post pounder I continued to cuss as I pounded the t posts into a silly circle around the broken post. I figured if the overhang collapsed it would land on my t post Stonehenge. I finished my half assery with a length of yellow baling twine wrapped around the post and tied with a kind of bow. 

I felt like Scarlet O’Hara with each thunk of the driver. “With God as my witness (thunk) I’m gonna (thunk) make it through this (thunk).

It was a defining moment. I remember everything. The muddy audience of horses, my snotty cold nose, how good it felt to cuss so loud and long, the secret pride I felt in myself because I knew deep down I was going to be OK. 

Later that week, the women would arrive for the retreat. We laughed and cried together. We gave each other much needed encouragement and friendship. They are the OG Hippie Cowgirls and I love them bunches.

If you’re going through a hard time right now, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to give a big hug if only in a literary way, you’re going to tie some yellow twine around your broken heart and you’re going to pound a little half ass circle of protection around yourself until you have the time and means to fix it better. You’re going to be OK.

Peace, Love & Spurs

Rock on, Hippie Cowgirls!

❤️MK

Hello, Hippie Cowgirls! Make peace, not war, with the amazing gift your body is to you. Have you ever seen a picture of yourself from years ago and think, “Dang, girl! You look good!” but distinctly remember feeling fat and self conscious when the picture was taken? 

Life is too precious for this silliness. Love the skin you’re in. Celebrate the journey that has brought you to exactly where you are. Adorn your body with beautiful clothes, move with confidence and crown your head with the smile of genuine kindness.

I see the women of my generation and know what Jane Fonda workouts, diet fads and abusive relationships have done to our spirits. We are struggling to find our worth, to be valued and to feel hope for our future. Our worth and beauty has never faded. It is not defined by the shenanigans of aging and menopause. It is not defined by our pant size. 

I remember the first time I felt true gratitude for my body. I was 19 years old and at the Kahuku hospital on the North Shore of Oahu in Hawaii. Beside me in a clear basinette was a tiny girl, my firstborn, Alicia. I was a baby with a baby. I stood up and in the half light of that Summer day I looked in the mirror and was surprised to see a woman looking back. The skin of my stomach was stretched. I ran my hands over my hips and my core muscles felt like a bowl of jelly. It was a moment of gratitude and acceptance. My body was doing what it needed to do to bring my daughter to this world.

Since that day, my body continues to serve me, occasionally school me to make changes and carries me from one adventure to the next. Let's all extend some gratitude and grace to ourselves and continue to celebrate the real beauty of real women.

Peace, Love and Spurs.

Rock On, Hippie Cowgirls

❤️MK